A donor's story

By Barbara Ursini

Growing up in an abusive household, I found myself in abusive relationships repeatedly, for which I owe so much to SafePlace for leading me to freedom. With intense and ongoing therapy, slowly I am turning my life around at the ripe age of 45. It is not easy, but definitely possible. I am learning how to take care of myself, that I have a right to be treated with respect, and that I do not have to tolerate abuse in any of its forms. I have learned to be aware and to enforce healthy boundaries as a means of protection, and to help reject distortions inbred form an earlier time. Today I thrive.

Like my mother’s own mother, and her mother before her, the women in my family experienced abuse. But my generation is different: we understand the dynamics of domestic violence, the roles of the perpetrators and the victims, and the vicious generational cycles.

We are the lucky ones, because we have the educational resources and support that scores of those before us have not had at their disposal. In America today, men and women have the opportunity to make change and stop the cycle of abuse carried down through the generations.

Today I am honoring my mother, and those in the family who came before her, by conquering this family curse and passing down my newfound knowledge to my own child, who in turn, will do the same for her family and beyond. It is safe to say domestic violence has stopped in this family tree! Yet… much work still needs to be done to eradicate this violence, which infiltrates areas outside of the home as well, such as the workplace and so on.

The donation I make to SafePlace is in honor of my deceased mother, with hopes of freeing just one more person from the destruction of domestic violence, so they too may thrive.